Give Life Examples

pexels-photo-226597.jpegI remember as me and my mom were talking about two nights ago I think that when I was little two cars broke down while I was in it and one was a station wagon in New Orleans because it’s where I’m originally from. I can’t remember a thing about my city maybe from years of depression as a child til now with no one knowing til my early 20s or maybe I might actually have something wrong with my head. I may see a neurologist or something like that. But in the mean time those are about the very few memories I have most of them not this one obviously but most in a school setting. I don’t remember my own my growing up. I felt like I didn’t even love my own mom until recently because I forgot about her it was the strangest thing. Here I’ll give you another memory me in maybe the 1st grade calling this kid Vincent who actually liked me a bastard while receiving those books you pay for at the book fair you remember those lol Poor kid cause I also told the teacher he was acting up in the classroom but it was actually me and of course I being the teachers pet would have her believe me lol poor kid again lol I did not like him like that lol I had my 1st grade heart set of for my first crush Jonathan lol I bet you don’t find this strange me giving you my earliest of memories but I do. Mind you I barely had friends as a child always roaming the school all alone from about the 2nd grade. I use to go home by myself and be alone at an early age probably 2nd or 3rd grade. Alway alone til today as well with a slight few friends here and there. But a loner nonetheless. Middle school my mind was numb idk how to explain it I was so freaking numb I didn’t know how to talk to ppl only friends I had were my neighbors but then I barely talked. But I was still loved by them. So I to this day don’t know why I can’t remember trips I took, my mom the ppl I grew up with and just my life. I’m still that way some ppl say it’s because I didn’t have friends from an early stage in life until now stable friendships besides a few. I really don’t know I don’t remember this it seems unless I do something not all the time it has to be something I like or things with people but I won’t really remover much about the conversations. My mind is a total fuck up but I’m still trying to make it and live life to my fullest. Maybe it’s God saying that since you had such a terrible life thus far I will give you something you will never dream of.

4 thoughts on “Give Life Examples

  1. Odeen walker says:

    Hello Renell, you always on of my favorite girl in the world. I remember always asked you why you don’t want any friends but never get answer. You are smart and respectful to be around and hope one day you can come back to your birth place and really get to know it in a different way, really a nice place . Love you and prayingfor you.


    • brightbutterfly says:

      Thanks Odeen! I will and I hope you can be the one to show me around a lot hahaha. Yeah I been quiet and I don’t know never present. But Thanks to God I finally feel woke. I just have to get out there my blog will be about that so continue to read. Love you!


    • Mel says:

      Well, I always considered you a friend and still do. I don’t remember much of our childhood because you were the quiet girl but you were also the funny girl when you did talk, the caring girl, the smart girl and so many more things. I always gave you space because you seemed like you liked it that way. But you weren’t invisible, we saw you.


      • brightbutterfly says:

        Thanks Mel. I still consider you a friend as well and hopefully when I visit down there I can see you. Just trying to experience life more been struggling for a while but I’ll get there I love the kind words I get from people though. Thanks


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